几年后的相遇

我低步于繁华隆市的街头， 我离撤于沉静孤清的街尾。

那是一个冷风袭骨的清晨。 回家的路上，记录着苍桑百年的孤寂也承受着世事的折磨。不断有人出现，有人消失，有人望着它哀悼，就像我们的再度相遇。相逢有相逢的际遇，萍水有萍水的礼数，终于明白你我并不缘止于此。谁说朝朝暮暮才是终点，告别的年代，分开的理由，终不需诉说出口，不要问，为什么放手，为什么妥协，宿命像张网到处是挣不开的丝蔓，即使挣开有什么意义？

许多年以后的相遇，不再是少年斑斓的色彩，满眼看到的是回忆的一丝丝泪光。我是铭记不忘， 曾经在那么美的一个冬天，我们邂逅了。我们的爱情旅程碑始于凯思维克月台...

一条一条的航线联结的我们，周末的聚集推开了我们的心湖。就是那么安静。安静的夜里，安静的夕阳，我们共度的无数灿烂时光。

是你教会了我金沙，热浪，麦香。至今我仍持着你的积分卡，纵使不用，它占据了我生活上的一席。生活有很多东西都无法抓住。是谁装饰了我的心？ 原来这世间有一种爱，它曾经美丽，它依然美丽。太美丽，太美丽，你的爱让生命太甜蜜 ，爱让我美丽。

你悄悄的来，静静的去，你那似有还无的思念和如影随行的背影循绕在我奔腾不息的热血，铬在我身体里，无法摆脱。

我痴痴地回望走过的路，带走点点滴滴的无奈。如果能化作消失的美丽，我愿作你天空中最淡的一丝云彩...

First date and thereafter

I believe people are interested in many things, sex is merely one of them, and it is part of the natural progression of things as two people spend time together. So it is not necessarily true when men are labelled as “only after one thing”.

Now know that I am not talking about first date sex necessarily, but even having said that, if both people agree, why is it a stigma that if first date sex happens, it is one party’s "fault"?

If two people decide to be naked and horizontal, and neither has any issues with it, then perhaps it is absolutely fine, and it is not an awful thing. Sex is a physical thing. Hunger and thirst are as well. If you are hungry, you eat. If you are thirsty, you drink. Why is it taboo that if you are horny you have sex?

I tend to develop deep emotional feelings for someone to share something purely physical. Perhaps, along the way, my brain releases too much of oxytocins and it cause me to be bonded to someone whom I have met. Literally, I fall on someone I just met after some intimate sessions and I am being hooked. I wish there is chemical that boost my testosterone and my brain do not put out this oxytocins. Looking at this, shall I say it is all biological, but not emotions at all?

Life is too for us to deny ourselves pleasure over some stale societal mores. Protection, respect for each other, mutual consent and desire, etc these are mores too.

I am fine in the aftermath of casual encounters but not the case after a meaningful one. I may be satisfied after a meaningless one, but the feeling of being used and wish to develop further haunt me when I meet the right one resulting in letting myself down.

Up until this point, I have shown no evolutionary advantage in these.

Special dedicate this trivial poem to the Si Anjing, Sang Kancil, and Cacing Hutan I have met in OZ land.

Another night alone, going out again
To the bar that everyone goes to
When there's nowhere else to go
Funny how they all seem so happy
Downing shots of liquid depression
But don't think I'm so self-righteous
Trust me, I've had more than my share
Many a night, I've out drank them all
My own private island of oblivion

So I cover up the loneliness
Pick the best of an all out crowd
Where one's no better than the next
Start the show, pretend you care
About who's doing who, while you're doing them
Because there's no one else to screw with
Don't you know your voice is grating
Nails down a big black chalkboard
One more shot out of tune that out

Just shut up & get it over with
The night is almost spent & I'm getting bored
Remember the way you came in
Because soon you'll be on your way out
Don't think I'm cruel because I'm rushing
It's be nice to say it's not about you
But the buzz's wearing off, making me ill

So, come on, get your things
Yeah, great, I'll see you next week
The cycle will repeat again, I am sure
But hopefully it's not with me cause
I pray it's with anyone but you
Hours of prep work to scope out a place
When everyone else is doing the same
Funny you think you're high on the order
For me...one more shot out of tune you out

Moving overseas can be an experience of a life time and a fantastic opportunity to not only immerse into another culture but embrace the different lifestyle of that country. Undoubtedly, it is also daunting, where do I start, how do I go about it, is it the right thing to do? Fortunately for me, I had travelled and holidayed in Western country previously, therefore, I knew a little of what to expect.

4 years I have been settling down in Sydney. The years leading up to my move is exciting yet stressful, however, a little research and networking goes a long way.
Remind family and friends that I am about to embark on an awesome opportunity and they are more than welcome to visit whenever they want. I want them to know how much this opportunity means to me and reassure them I am prepared for the change. Keep in contact with them regularly, that’s what I do. Phone calls may be expensive but then I teach my mom how to use skype and chat with her over skype every now and then.

Lastly, however I simply have too many precious poohs stranded at home!!!

Dreams

For the past two weeks, I have heaps of dreams. It is very common for people to dream about their ex-partners. Individuals that have been an important part of our lives continue to take up a part of our mind and heart. It is impossible to dramatically shut the person out of thoughts and feelings. Just because the relationship ends does not mean that all is finished. You will continue to dream about your ex until you let go of them on a very important level, or until you learned your lessons from that relationship. Either way, dreaming about your ex-romance does not predict future involvement. It may be wish-fulfilment, reliving memories, or working out old issues. Dreams are very rarely prophetic.
日有所思，夜有所梦，有多少人在黑沉的夜里独自神游？又有多少人在梦醒来时更添一份惆怅？纵然如此，亦愿梦一场，至少在梦中，或许一直期待但又不可能实现的事情可以达成，也就可偷得一时半分的甜蜜幸福，这样又何必管它梦后如何怎样。梦纵再好，也有醒来的时候，这才是应恨的地方。

梦中不知君是客
见画一色叹其美
曹分两地形单影
慧眼一睁不胜悲

PS：拟写中文，词韵象境，最值得玩味。
劝君不妨多作梦，此物最是慰相思。

My Winnie the Pooh collections. Each of them is my precious. :)

Stop seeing someone

Stop seeing someone is not easy - especially if you have to stop seeing someone whom you really like. I never have you, “losing you” may be inappropriate, but that is what I see in this context, it inevitably breaks my heart…

I still harbouring hope that I will see you some times this week or maybe in the very near future.

I am so reluctant to stop letting the thoughts get into my head. I know I miss those good times we had. I never stop reminiscing on the wonderful times that we had while we were together in that mere 20 hours. However, at this most painful time soon after what’s happening, these thoughts do nothing good on me and only aggravate my pain and prolong my recovery by making myself feeling that I have sustained a major loss.

Should I be grateful for having been granted the joy of fun and affection from you at one point of time in which it just not meant to last? Knowing such wonderful memories are great to have, I should be thankful I had those great experiences from you and feelings towards you.

Continue living, pursue my professional and social goals and don’t leave much space for boredom in my life. I reassure myself.