和你的故事，就像是一趟旅行，有了起点，屡次以为到了终点,下了车却又及时赶上车，一路地走便不知道哪一站是终点…

又是一段冬天的邂逅, 或许是人生太短暂、太仓促，有了这样的邂逅，幸福的牵手……有了一段绚丽多姿的爱！

多一个人陪，多一个人帮你分担，生活不再孤单、落寞。有一个人在想着你、恋着你、盼着你、赞你、踩你， 做任何事都是那样的美妙。

绚丽过了，随着彼此认识的加深，生活上的忙碌，隐藏的问题都扑头盖面朝你走来，开始觉得烦、累，甚至想要逃避。

人是由于感情的淡化而变得懒惰，其实人是先被惰性征服，感情才慢慢变淡的。我把力量写给了事业，剩余下的难再着手改造、打磨 跟你的爱。 有活力的爱情，是需要适度殷勤来灌溉的，谈恋爱，我会是抱着偷懒心态。

分隔之后，才察觉你的弥足珍贵，纵然有你的刻意流泪,但你确实曾悲伤过.，你带走了属于我的欢笑，甚至掏挖了我的灵魂！

一个叫WILLIAM的朋友说可以随时牵手，但不可以随便放手，但牵手和分手同来自一双手！

现在的心情: 想逃离那陷阱，却以陷入了困境，我没有输赢的勇气,只望逃脱的幸运。

思慕宿宾故事萌，
霜容悠悠吾不寐。
是古非今景不在，
痛哀未尽思慕瘁。

Surrealistic Chemistry subject nightmare

I doubt if it is true in the saying there is no better consolation than to improve and excel at what you once failed in—as true in little monthly test that I had back in 2000 as in anything else. Until today, I still have the dream that I was unprepared for this particular subject a day before the exam.

It was in the year 2000, I actually failed in a monthly test and earned a crimson score in the monthly test card. At that point of time, I really did not feel anything, hang on, I think I actually did, but the sense of repugnance towards the teacher in charge had overwhelmed the sense of humility- a teacher who was promoted to school principal in that period. My aversion towards him was developed since form 1, solely because I really dislike how impatience and bad-tempered he was when dealing with stuff. Somehow, this tragedy did actually occupy a spot in my memory and leave me with plenty of calamities in my dream for years even until present day.



An easy score of A1(high distinction) in the ultimate assessment, SPM does not extricate me from this nightmare though and even how well I did in the fundamental Chemistry course in my degree in the later years.

It really put me into thought that should I really put some efforts for the sake of getting rid of this nightmare. I would not have any chance sitting for Chemistry related course in the future, unless I go for another Chemistry related degree. Or should I go for a Post Doc combustion project that involves Chemistry-fluid flow coupled challenges.

Alternatively, I can just get a life partner in Chemistry profession, just to complement what I have once failed.

It is another morning that I find myself lethargic when those brightest rays of light pour through my window as the sun creeps above the ridge line in the east. I am tired and sitting on my bed overlooking the Randwick racecourse. The top name in my recent call list would have been the one that I want to dial, the one I have been calling endlessly for the last 7 months.

“The service you are calling is switched off or not in coverage. Please try again later.” Vehemently, I press, press and press the call back tab. Consistently, I am getting the same message.

I look at the little grimy apple-shaped mirror on my iphone, the ramifications of your departure are fully portrayed on my subdued eye.

The past summer that I have spent ostensibly doing research towards what will hopefully someday amount to a dissertation has now metamorphosed into what I think I owe you a sorry. I isolated you before, I played cool with you before. It was all about before, and what about after?

本來總是牽著的手,
現在怎麼各自寂寞?
alin-以前，以後

你的一句‘错过了良缘’换来的是我一股莫名的忧伤。心酸的感觉无法言语， 呆楞着盯着窗外，看着远方。 往事的点点滴滴陆续浮现，想着你的微笑和你的身影。眼前是冰冷，凄凉，埋藏在心灵深处的忧伤，是耽搁的忧伤。

是这个物欲横流的世界玷污了爱情，是享乐主义的欲望蒙蔽了心灵。

我们的爱，曾经太美丽。跟你的一切一切，我从没遗忘过。

What relationship means to me is an alternating emotions of love and enmity. In certain occasion, it could happen concurrently. This encompassing definition of relationship that I subscribed may occur when I have lost the intimacy within a loving relationship, yet still retain some passion for, or perhaps some commitment to, each other.



When a relationship is new and shiny, I perceive my beloved to be surrounded by an otherworldly aura, devoid of imperfections. Forsaking all others, I cannot get enough of this dazzling newness. Once the affair is no longer fresh and dewy, there exists the distinct possibility for disillusionment. I start wondering how I didn't notice certain things—or perhaps I actually noticed them but things I saw earlier are not what they look like. Horrible truths come out and they then begin to drive me crazy.

The truth is, when I have been around the block a few times, I tend to be cynical about affairs of my heart. Love sneaks up and whacks me upside the head. And there am I, wandering around in a blissful haze, totally besotted.

I have no control over my feelings. As much as I phrase this as an excuse to indulge myself in a love affair, as far as I let myself expose to the possibility of emotionally devastating disaster. People do not just fall in love with no will or intention or choice in the matter. People certainly fall into feelings of affection for others and may find themselves inextricably and powerfully drawn to other human beings, but that is not the equivalent of loving them. To love someone you must act.

I always have the belief that it is very common for people to think about their ex-partners. Individuals that have been an important part of your lives continue to take up a part of your mind and heart. It is impossible to dramatically shut the person out of thoughts and feelings. Just because the relationship ends does not mean that all is finished, at least if you were serious in the relationship before, not just ‘play play’.

It is about the breathtaking expansion of my ability to miss many while exploring the possibility of sharing my life with just one. I spend a lot time evaluating within myself whether or not this is actually true, whether it really is ‘miss’ that I feel for these different people. I fear it could be instead a desperate search for validation, some kind of dying to quench the incompleteness I feel out of a relationship, and that these needs are a result of some shortcoming of mine

Should I be grateful for having been granted the joy of fun and affection from you at one point of time in which it just not meant to last? Knowing such wonderful memories are great to have, I should be thankful I had those great experiences from you and feelings towards you.