The crossroad where we met and diverged
I doubt if you still remember the night we met up having both engulfed in the bleakness.

I recently came to this crossroad. It gave me much thought. It embodied where we were intersected once in life, even just for a night.

I have felt it. It was almost like it was hanging in the air. I do not know what made me think of it but it was what I have felt. Nothing was making any sense in the night we spent, murky flow of time, stanched with boredom and ignorance.

The butterfly that was once freshly in style metamorphosed into moth, too many question marks, too many empty words thrown around for social convenience.

We then grew apart, separated by a decayed wall in the name of oblivion and it was covered by the greyish veil of unspoken words. Neither of us contacted each other.

I did not even have the courage to initiate anything. It was a graveyard for me, a tormented place of lost infatuation. You have forgotten me but I guess I have not. I vividly remembered how we met. You were rampage murderer, slowly and cruelly assassinating what was once the best thing that happened to me.

Then… things started to decay after 4months. It was the time when my feeling towards you started to run dry. Your vaguely familiar face exchanged with my dismissive look. I have been taken you and conformed to the definition of perfection.

Perhaps somewhere in the great scheme of life, in the endless V-niverse flowing on an eternal river of time we just meant to have that one night, a horrid night, stormy and tarred, opened the gates to my most feared daemons. They gathered from the darkest corners of my mind and came haunting me. The terrible struggle, fed by the storm outside, echoed inside me like a hurricane. For once, the invisible claws of these daemons held my heart in a painful grip.

To you, maybe it is nothing.

To me, it is the bleakness of mortal realm.

Manifestation of Brotherhood
along Hume Highway


We stumbled, shuffled, and marooned our footprints amidst the Hume Highway, running about 900km inland between Sydney and Melbourne, the one that connects two largest cities in Australia, and the possibly one of the most important roads on the Australian continent, our smeared pace set the pertinent brotherhood.

Together, we ventured south with little concerns on the big Tarago that would cope with maneuvering heavy loads of luggage plus 5 people.

We reached Mittagong within an hour, a splendid southern highlands and a popular stop off along the Hume Highway. We had a quick stop in a petrol station, changed and get ready for the long night in the car. Lung drove from Mittagong onwards.

The traffic on the road was pretty happening. A few caravans was heading south as they overtook us, most of the time, especially when we were chugging up the hills that never seemed to end all the way to Albury. We did not realise how many long gradual inclines there are on the Hume. It was a little scary when the big trucks drove on by, the Tarago started to sway and we had on hold on that steering wheel awfully tight.

Other boys in the car, one slept in the entire journey while the other one engaged himself in the beep alerts, RM2 per text message. Gosh, how much money he actually spent in replying message to his lovers? I really wonder.

We missed rest areas one after one, had the recurring thought that the acceleration from the one we just missed will bring us to the next one sooner. Most of the rest areas were bypassed, on the landscape that is mountainous and hilly.

A long time went by. I had little idea when I actually fell asleep. Maybe it seemed like it was longer than it was, but I was gripped by fear from Lung’s amateur driving skill. I got up and spoke to Lung: “let me take over now and you better rest.”

Lung has completed more than half of the journey and I completed the rest.

It was the times I noticed things that I had not seen before. The clumps of wild plants reflected the front light of the car showing the lower degree of saturation. Something was gone from inside me, something that had felt like a knot in my chest. It was a beautiful world and it was wonderful to have such brotherhood, a live and filled with hope. It was the night when the power of brotherhood manifested. An approximate 1000km journey was accomplished.

The fundamental of our brotherhood was built on nothing but a corollary of the maternal parenthood. The brotherhood we had is not simply an adherence to biological connection, it is an outgrowth of fraternal covenant.

We finally arrived at Melbourne at about 8am, where we found ourselves engulfed between cool blue waning and golden dawn fire waxing. Our journey marked a full stop with the cessation in worshipping the dark. So it was 11 hours in the car!!!

We both did a magnificient job! Hopefully the only day we have like this again is the trip somewhere else in the world.

澳洲之旅

在墨尔本机场上演了分离的一幕， 我返回悉尼，弟弟和妈妈则归回马来西亚。

我拖拉着行囊上机，弟弟一个短讯告知妈妈又为我和她的分离流泪，一股苦涩的泉水，在我心间缓缓流淌。想到要再次分离半栽，两行浑浊的泪水簌然而下，心有种被掏空的感觉，一下子没有了任何心情，脑中浮现的就只有妈妈渐显老态的面容。

记忆中妈妈的脸上是光滑的...

February 2006

有爱就有牵挂，长年漂泊异乡的我，时常惹得妈妈脸颊挂起一行行分隔泪。

在妈妈这一趟两周有余澳洲之旅，我贪婪地收藏妈妈每一个神态，想说解读妈妈的深情厚意，她的一个眼神，一个微笑都会勾起我无限的思绪。日子在不经意间悄然滑逝，妈妈额头上又添了几丝皱纹。

在人生崎岖坎坷的旅途上，妈妈无时无刻给予我最真诚、最亲切的关爱，不时对我嘘寒问暖，为了我的琐事而烦恼。从幼苗长成参天大树，从童年长成青年，告别了雨季，走过了轻狂，身旁始终有棵大树伴随，为我遮风，为我挡雨，妈妈是我一身最大的财富。

三个儿子之中，妈妈对贰子最为疼爱，这份偏爱来得理直气壮，不需掩饰，因为我知道我能给的永远不及弟弟，我也不存有嫉妒之心。我不可能为妈妈带来呱呱坠地的热闹，只能成为妈妈的骄傲。

春有百花，夏有月；秋有凉风，冬有雪。我有什么？我有无疆的母爱。

母亲的泪流在我生命的源泉，伴随着我往后的脚步，让我不敢有一丝懈怠。

The chilly winter is here. As planned a year ago, I am currently embracing it with an OZ family trip.

My family flew over to Gold Coast with the budget airlines, Air-asia. In my defense, I actually want to seek out warmer temperature on a winter-sun break, so Gold Coast is the place to kick off with, all the way to Melbourne, via Sydney.

Here am I, stranded here, a place that captures the essence of tranquillity, wonder timelessness and beauty that simply is Australia. Lush rolling hills of hinterland mountains, capped with rainforests and bushland. The golden stretches of pristine beaches and waterways are truly spectacular.

Day two, I am going to defy the laws of gravity on the longest, the highest and the most exciting thrill rides.

To be continued ....