Sunday, December 08, 2013

Renunciation of citizenship

These have been running through my mind for some time now whether I should give up my home country citizenship or simply remain as permanent resident in OZ.

It took me years to make this decision. I guess it is all about the emotional attachment with home country where I have grown up, educated and eventually departed. When I bumped into Malaysian in any place of the world, I would still introduce myself as a Malaysian and followed up by answering the subsequent question – where about in Malaysia? – which normally took me a moment to explain where is it about Sekinchan in Selangor state. 

During gatherings with Malaysian friends, the topic of renunciation of the Malaysian citizenship will pop up once in awhile. When asked why, one of the most common responses given will be, unsurprisingly, "Don’t la, keep it for future plan to come back". Yes, that’s the only reason to keep it, but think about it, does it mean you cannot stay in Malaysia for good if you are no longer a Malaysian? There are always alternative path like Malaysia My Second Home Programme, etc. But that is only if you want to come back for good.

Liveability continues to be my main motivation behind most of my life-changing decisions. Work life balance is the main motivation why I roamed overseas to eventually what I call settling down now. Pity to say, I could have never guess how much I would be motived by a great dense having gone through my childhood in a woefully broken culture, then spent my teenage period stricken with the infirmities in a broken education system that I could not have begun to guess what grandeur my life might hold.

I am currently having my 1month break in my home country. It has been 4 days since I landed and tonight I wrote this post. Things happened for the last few days coupled with the memory that conjured up in these period, it further affirms that my decision was right. Looking at the newspaper with some ridiculous proposals from the ministers, I really think I deserve a place with better off leadership. I am blessed that today, I can sing ‘Advance Australia Fair’ replacing the nostalgic ‘Negaraku’ that I have gone through in my primary and secondary school on a weekly basis.



Lastly, I just want to state that no matter how long I am away from my home country, no matter how well I learn to speak and behave like locals, the Malaysian in me will never be diminished.



Thursday, February 21, 2013

无题

简易的行装,素面朝天的模样,又是上班的一天。理所当然的简素已经成了习惯。

不知道多久没有提笔写这一段流淌过音乐的爱了,在这一两天里一些事情的发生似乎有了一些感悟。但又怎样? 第一章已是三年前,澎湃的一字一顿烙印在单身的夜里。

年幼的时候,会逃避,因为把事情做坏了。而如今,逃避是因为不愿意接受,不愿意抹平伤疤,逃避中带着一份不舍。

熬过了黑夜太阳就会升起,睡梦里的内心然而不断挣扎,尽管再强悍的武装也逃不过现实的残酷。

可能我一时间真没办法解决这段感情,解决不了的事,放着,留着,给予时间让自己等待。 爱就是这样,有所恋,有所怨,有所叹,有所盼。

我的想法一贯感性,如今还盼抚弦有人听懂,但可能无人愿听,很多事情我知道,只是不愿说。

人生的道路,大家在迈进,行不动可暂且歇下,等待或逃避未必是坏事。

三张看似撕烂的纸,其实没有丝毫破损,只是皱了。 迈进秋天,风乍起,吹皱一池春水。

Thursday, February 14, 2013

孤单情人节


夜已静寂,星空浩渺,一盏孤灯相伴,我还在敲打文字,键盘的声响和着悠扬的曲子,不紧不慢,时起时伏,音符触动着每一条神经,奏响着生命的旋律。

孤单的情人节,无奈一个人在这样的夜里与生命里最熟悉的灵魂进行无声对话,也希望我思念的人在熟睡的梦里感应到来自灵魂深处的呼唤。

似乎已经忘了曾经那般温暖向阳的明媚,遥望那遥不可及的幸福,压抑着饱含没人体会的泪水。

许多曲折婉转的记忆,都随着年龄渐增慢慢地沉淀,到最后只是一个人一边缅怀着,一边遗憾着,回忆本身就是一种悲伤。


Wednesday, February 06, 2013

流逝,孤寂


回国至今有好一段日子,时间淡淡地流逝,我总在昨日里徘徊,离不开那一段美好的记忆。独自在黑夜里挣扎,好似也融入了其中,再也走不出,那一份邂逅过弥留下来的孤寂。

记忆的折叠,和你一段密密麻麻的78小时,回首物是人非,了却凡间尘梦无数。

逗留在回忆的世界,我的文字可以翩然起舞,敲打出满满的故事,只是不知,哪篇属于我,哪篇属于我们?

我好似过着流浪的日子,虽说转身天涯,各自为安,但活在记忆里,你的逗留,你的离去,茫茫人海中,相隔千里,似乎再也找不到归去的方向。年轻的身影,仿佛历尽了尘世所有的沧桑,被渲染的只剩下斑驳的流霜。

其实我明白,随着时光流去,故事翻到末页,心里的只有沉淀。在清冷的夜里, 掩埋了多少美丽的过去,那沉淀在岁月的河,又积累了几代春秋的泪。

我该如何珍藏,才不能被时光抹除,呼唤着遥远的梦,梦里向往美好的时光,虚幻的温情捎来久违的身影面容伴我掀开黎明的面纱。

梦里花开,念起的你。 只是不知,梦回歇,泪几层,青花飘零何处归?

眷然有归欤之情,
恋慕再至怀思苦。
培育友谊始不渝,
锦绣前程可有期?