自愧不如

I used to feel invincible, but not for now, for all that human frailties that try to pertain, I just want to spit at my own face.

I am lost to the overwhelming emotion that bursts forth from my soul, playful being and lured into the extravagance of life. I am simply impotent when I was to compare to an omnipotent celestial being.

You, a first year au courant PhD research student, able to accomplish astonishing feats like, coaxing the unwilling to learn to coding, overcoming internalized oppression that was haunting me, achieved remarkably well at the end of your inaugural annual review, consistently staying up in the laboratory over weekend, while striving aggressively towards your dream and most importantly, rival my three years research outcome with your peculiar one year.

I am abashed and unwilling to acknowledge my loss, but I have to.
From now on, for every raw moment of my raucous life presence-

I will guzzle every second and gear it with my effort just like how the friction coupling done by cannon pinion.

I will ride the remaining research period bareback, not afraid of diseases, give it the final thrust and shoot, just like unprotected sex.

I will study like a scholar in an ivory tower which eventually grants me the highest degree.

I should be shameless in my insistence that:
I am fucking remarkable beyond belief!