It is another morning that I find myself lethargic when those brightest rays of light pour through my window as the sun creeps above the ridge line in the east. I am tired and sitting on my bed overlooking the Randwick racecourse. The top name in my recent call list would have been the one that I want to dial, the one I have been calling endlessly for the last 7 months.

“The service you are calling is switched off or not in coverage. Please try again later.” Vehemently, I press, press and press the call back tab. Consistently, I am getting the same message.

I look at the little grimy apple-shaped mirror on my iphone, the ramifications of your departure are fully portrayed on my subdued eye.

The past summer that I have spent ostensibly doing research towards what will hopefully someday amount to a dissertation has now metamorphosed into what I think I owe you a sorry. I isolated you before, I played cool with you before. It was all about before, and what about after?

本來總是牽著的手,
現在怎麼各自寂寞?
alin-以前，以後