我最亲爱的


The return trip from Malaysia was a long abdominal rumbling moment accompanied by the heightening emotion. Upon returned from Malaysia and grounded in the land where it is too much for my own good, despite having fitful sleep ever since and woke often with a head full of things to do, it is exhilaration rather than exhaustion.

It has never occurred to you to bother, though I have discussed at length how my words are my art, that writing is my saving grace, that with my words I attempt to communicate. It has never occurred to you that what I say might matter enough to you to pursue. Simply there is too much distraction out there, too much unwillingness to pay commitment into a relationship with emotional attachment. The sheer fact that I write this post is a self reflection upon myself that I ought to have done perhaps some while ago.

An analogy that reflects this matter would be: I miss those old days, the craving for Malaysia foods. My home country is now nothing except my family who occupies much of my thoughts, perhaps, my old friends as well. I used to miss the foods back in Malaysia heaps. It is dreadful to find out that what I actually miss is not what I missed anymore. The greatest fear comes from returning to a place I have forever memorised, only to find that in different phase of my life, it seems like it has changed irrevocably but the place itself remains the same.

Transition, change of routines and personal upheaval are making my mind race and thrust towards the final dissertation for the journey i have engulfed upon in ages.

一首写实的新歌


很想知道你近況　
我聽人説還不如你對我講　
經過那段遺憾　
請你放心　我變得更加堅強　
世界不管怎樣荒涼　
愛過你就不怕孤單　

我最親愛的　你過的怎麼樣　
沒我的日子　你別來無恙　
依然親愛的　我沒讓你失望　
讓我親一親　像過去一樣　

我想你一定喜歡　
現在的我學會了你最愛的開朗　
想起你的模樣　
有什麼錯　
還不能夠被原諒　
世界不管怎樣荒涼　
愛過你就不怕孤單　

雖然離開了你的時間　
比一起還漫長　
我們總能補償　
因為中間空白的時光　
如果還能分享　
也是一種浪漫　
關係雖然不再一樣　
關心卻怎麼能說斷就斷