Mumble from CFD laboratory
My decision to stay in this university upon graduation to continue a research degree can be seen as some kind of inchoate expressions of a yearning for, to be someone, someone who is something-expertise.
I could never have guessed how much I would be motivated by a great dense to be an eccentric having went through my childhood in a woefully broken culture, then spent my teenage period stricken with the infirmities in a broken education system that I could not have begun to guess what grandeur my life might hold.
Till late 2007, I have been trying to develop my eccentricity and to avoid the entrapment of comfort zone. My path as an international scholar has taught me that sacred Malaysian Chinese can be as valuable as the sacred local despite being marginalised in the home country. I am profoundly grateful this is what I was made from, and where I came from, the place where I learned to live comfortable, unlearned the lies that misinformed me of my inadequacy, and I saw my image in the mirror with clarity.
Since 2006, I scaled ivory towers to pillage knowledge, on what I thought I have missed in the young age for personal evolution and gain. I have learned to dissent between me and my ex-classmates as well as uni mates, but I do mediate these, bridging the connection to prevent the schism that absence may create.
Then starting 2008, I involved myself in this Computational Fluid Dynamics laboratory. This laboratory has endowed me with great knowledge, equipped me with sceptical thinking throughout years of research experience. Today, not too far down the road, I will be able to refashion myself. In my lexicon, I am the senior batch among other researchers in the lab excluding those post doctoral fellows.
Mumble in the dark...
Lately, I started to develop hatred towards two of my supervisors who actually cheated on me. Also, for the first week, I started to feel that I could have achieved much more if it were without their self-centered supervisions which were concerned with their own interests. I am getting more and more pissed off having stranded in this laboratory that does not promise me anything more than a dissertation.
My decision to stay in this university upon graduation to continue a research degree can be seen as some kind of inchoate expressions of a yearning for, to be someone, someone who is something-expertise.
I could never have guessed how much I would be motivated by a great dense to be an eccentric having went through my childhood in a woefully broken culture, then spent my teenage period stricken with the infirmities in a broken education system that I could not have begun to guess what grandeur my life might hold.
Till late 2007, I have been trying to develop my eccentricity and to avoid the entrapment of comfort zone. My path as an international scholar has taught me that sacred Malaysian Chinese can be as valuable as the sacred local despite being marginalised in the home country. I am profoundly grateful this is what I was made from, and where I came from, the place where I learned to live comfortable, unlearned the lies that misinformed me of my inadequacy, and I saw my image in the mirror with clarity.
Since 2006, I scaled ivory towers to pillage knowledge, on what I thought I have missed in the young age for personal evolution and gain. I have learned to dissent between me and my ex-classmates as well as uni mates, but I do mediate these, bridging the connection to prevent the schism that absence may create.
Then starting 2008, I involved myself in this Computational Fluid Dynamics laboratory. This laboratory has endowed me with great knowledge, equipped me with sceptical thinking throughout years of research experience. Today, not too far down the road, I will be able to refashion myself. In my lexicon, I am the senior batch among other researchers in the lab excluding those post doctoral fellows.
Mumble in the dark...
Lately, I started to develop hatred towards two of my supervisors who actually cheated on me. Also, for the first week, I started to feel that I could have achieved much more if it were without their self-centered supervisions which were concerned with their own interests. I am getting more and more pissed off having stranded in this laboratory that does not promise me anything more than a dissertation.
These got me into deep thought, which path and what’s next that I should move on.
Despite all this, I am lucky to have this Malaysian co-supervisor who helped me and guided me a lot. I see my relationship with him as a symbiosis, based on the root of mutualism where we were originated from the same country. I am the one who brought him in indirectly to this academic field from the Australian Nuclear Science and Technology industry whereas he is one who constantly advise and lead me to the end of this research journey. To Assoc. Prof. G.H. Yeoh, thank you.
