垂暮


Today feels hard. Though summer is over, I am plagued with thoughts of one thing - a little Vietnam trip without me but with another him.

All these while, I perceived it as a privilege granted from you, having gone through different places with you throughout these years. Later, I even included you in my family trip. I realise now someone has taken that place.

I do feel a sneaking sense of dread. I come to the point to admit that, it used to be my privilege, I was so overwhelmed and now I should be happy you have found someone who could do a better job than me.

There is so much to think about, so much to be concerned about. I need to reconvene here, get perspective, and simplify. A simple truth is, having learnt that you are willing to do so simply mean too much. We are now separated by a decay wall in the name of Pipu and it is covered by greyish veil of lies.

I stick to my powerful tenet of belief, that all acts of love and pleasure towards you serve a higher purpose. But, running a life that equipped with the essence of your betrayal in the southern hemisphere, I have been a freak.

I should be grateful for having been granted the joy of fun and affection from you at some parts of my life but just not meant to last.

Message to the wall,

垂暮黄昏，冷眼旁观
我的昨天，你的明天