I earned the title, but not the money.

This is akin to “fame or money” dilemma. The circulation and intersection between prestige and money are of cyclical nature with iterative or recursive characteristics and description has to start somewhere which may possibly give a wrong impression of any assumed starting point of a cycle. In my case, it is both philosophical issue and of great practical consequence.

Having recently attained the Associate Lecturer position, kind of being promoted from the tutor position that I have been working for the past 2.5 years, I thought my living is moving to the stage where, I will have the extravagance to design my life, as I would have the fixed income from the new position coupled with the charge-by-hour basis tutorial class.

Ironically, my weekly income now can barely cover my weekly studio rental. I am living on a negative income basis, on the fact that I cannot have these two jobs concurrently. I guess the enormity of the current financial mayhem is to be paid for by ostensible effort in my research which will be amounted to a dissertation at the end of such limbo. Unfortunately, it is half a year more to go…

Prior to this, I used to have the luxury to design my life as a full-time PhD student with my part-time but full-time equivalent paid job. Term deposits, then shares, IPO new releases, I invested my money in whatever way I could. Then family trips, weekend outing, banquet meal, fortnightly shopping. It was the past two and a half year where my life was bloomed with sumptuous goods, lavish style and splendid experiences. I was pampered to exploit this lucrative pays.

How I wish this financial crisis is purely psychological and I could snap out of it and further be motivated to strike hard. It simply matters much to me at this stage.

Perhaps, things start with a title. Then Mr. M (money) comes after.